Don’t let post wedding blues get you down

Post wedding blues

I’ve always believed that your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. I fully bought into this idea especially because I married the love of my life so of course it must be the greatest and happiest day ever. I had a vision for what the day would be like but the reality was so far from it. I remember at the end of the day at about 8pm, I was sitting in the best man’s car, waiting for my husband to be done so we could finally end the day and I just started crying. At that point, I was believed I had a truly miserable day. I still felt so bad a few days after then I did some research and discovered that what I was feeling was post wedding blues.

We had our wedding ceremony 9 months after we got engaged. I started planning almost immediately. I talked and thought of different aspects of this day almost every day for 9 months. I was so scared things would go wrong so I handed over many things to my Mother and I only thought about things that concerned my husband and I or my bridesmaids.

The weeks leading up to the wedding were so stressful because I had left most things to the last minute. I only got my dress 2 days before the wedding. My shoes didn’t arrive until the day before and I had a terrible cold on my wedding week.

We had our traditional, garden ceremony and reception on the same day. I knew this would be stressful but I had no idea. I started my day at 5.30am and by the time I was done, I didn’t get a chance to take a picture with my husband before we left the hotel. Looking back now, I wish we had relaxed and taken lots of pictures.

There was a subjectively terrible experience during the garden ceremony. This coupled with the fact that we had the ceremony outside at 2pm in the burning heat of Lagos was a bad idea. I cried all through the ceremony so there are also no pictures of us together during this part. Precious moments that weren’t captured.

Things started to get better during the reception. I was finally having fun. There were a few mishaps here too but because of the garden experience, these didn’t seem too bad. I was finally done with the ceremony. Finally, I am Mrs O.

It wasn’t until I had the breakdown in my car before the regrets came to me. I was sad because I felt we had spent too much money. I spent too much money on irrelevant things. I felt sad because of the pictures I didn’t get with my husband. Angry because somebody complained to me that she didn’t get desert. There were no fireworks during our first dance. I was too bloated and looked pregnant all day. I was angry with my dad for embarrassing me. I shouldn’t have used a wedding planner. So many other things I won’t mention because I don’t want to think about it. It has been a month and almost 2 weeks since the wedding. I’m not so sad about it but still a tiny bit angry sha, I won’t lie. Here are a few tips that have helped me feel better. I hope they can help you too

  • Remember that this is the beginning not the end. A lot of the sadness comes from the wedding being over but it’s only the beginning of a wonderful adventure as a wife. Think about this instead and look forward to future plans, anniversaries, birthdays, babies etc.
  • Unfollow all the wedding pages! I’m serious. It was one of the first things I did when I realized I had the blues and it helped me a lot was to unfollow all the wedding pages I used as inspiration for months leading to the wedding. Now that my timeline is relatively normal, I don’t see other people’s weddings and feel a twinge of jealousy.
  • Look at your friend’s photos and videos of the day. I don’t know how but this helped me so much because they were taken from an unprofessional perspective and captured real and truly happy moments
  • You can’t change anything by thinking about it. The sooner you accept, the better for your peace of mind
  • It is normal to feel this way. It’s just a wedding day not a reflection of your marriage

 

Just enjoy being married.

Look forward and don’t back 😉

Intermittent Fasting: To eat or not to eat?

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Food o’clock

Two weeks ago, I found out about intermittent fasting or 16:8. If you’ve never heard of it, it simply means not eating for 16 hours and eating within the 8 hours. According to this plan, you stop eating by 8pm and start eating again by 12 noon the next day. This appealed to me greatly because it’s not a diet as there is no calorie restriction. It is a popular method for losing weight, increase energy levels, increase motivation and stamina, and also improve cognitive function. It may even protect against cancer. Just by fasting? Count me in!

I decided to try this fast to help get a handle on my sugar addiction and frequent snacking. Also because losing my pot belly won’t be a bad idea. I honestly think about food all the time and by food, I mean junk food. Even if I’m not hungry, I usually plan the next day’s meals in my head.

I thought this would be easy because there are days I eat like this anyway so how hard can it be? I even downloaded an app called Zero to keep track of when I started my fast and when I can start eating again.

I started my first day of fasting at 00:00 on Monday morning which meant that my fast would be broken at 4. I think this was a bad idea because I don’t remember the last time I fasted. I’ve never denied myself of food on purpose so I should have had a proper meal that evening but I didn’t, I had a can of Smirnoff Ice for dinner. At work that day, I was STARVING and my breath was so bad. I persevered and I rewarded myself with a sausage roll at 4pm and Chicken salad and fruit parfait by 5.30pm. I continued the rest of the week like this and it wasn’t that bad. The longest I did without food was 21 hours. This was outstanding for me. The major downside for me during this week was that I didn’t like that my breath wasn’t fresh and I couldn’t chew gum as I didn’t have sugar-free gum.

I’ve been at it for a week and a few days now and I haven’t lost any weight at all but here are a few positives

  • I’ve been able to reduce my Coca-cola intake. I’ve gone 5 days without coca-cola so far. I also haven’t had any candy/chocolate since I started
  • On weekends, most of my fasting can be done while sleeping. Wake up at 10am and eat at 12. Fasting done!
  • I’ve spent less on food these days since I really only have one meal
  • I’ve been drinking 2 liters of water daily to help with the hunger and that keeps me hydrated
  • I think my skin looks better

I’ll still keep at it. Hopefully I can keep this up. Have you ever tried it before? Let me know what you think!