How to survive long distance relationships

Happy black woman

Recently, my husband’s friend relocated to the Netherlands, leaving behind his girlfriend of two years and I felt so sad for her because I could relate. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for about 11 months now (We’ve been legally married for 9 months). It’s been tough for me because since my husband and I started talking, we saw each other every day. Sometimes twice a day if he took me to work and took me back home so he was a huge part of my daily life. I didn’t think I would survive this but somehow, I have. We will still be long distance for a few more weeks but the end is on the horizon. If I could do it, you can do. Here’s how:

  • Determine if he/she is worth waiting for. When you are sure they are feeling the same way you do, then things are easier already. When you are away from each other, there will be uncertainties that if they are not properly addressed, they can grow into legit problems.
  • Have something to look forward to. When my husband moved 7,061.2 km away, I had things to look forward to. We had an upcoming trip to Mauritius and we were also legally getting married in 2 months so I had these thoughts to keep me warm at night.
  • Trust each other. This is rather obvious but with the distance and time difference that may exist, you just need to trust each other. He/She loves you and if they haven’t made you doubt this, then don’t just accuse them because you thought you saw a Tinder notification on their phone (cough cough).
  • Communicate regularly. This was important to me because I saw him every evening where he basically recapped his day to me. After he moved, I didn’t want this to stop so we still Facetime each night and tell each other about our days. Even though we still make small talk during the day. This helped me greatly, maybe it’ll work for you too. If not, you can still find a way to communicate that both of you can agree to.
  • Surprise each other. Be very attentive and look for opportunities to surprise each other. This is something my husband is great at. He is very attentive and listens to me and tries to surprise me anyway he can, from organizing for flowers to my place of work and even showing up unexpectedly at my door. These surprises show me that he really cares and makes my day/week/month.

I believe long distance can work if you want it to, even though there are situations where it doesn’t but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a try.

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