How to survive long distance relationships

Happy black woman

Recently, my husband’s friend relocated to the Netherlands, leaving behind his girlfriend of two years and I felt so sad for her because I could relate. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for about 11 months now (We’ve been legally married for 9 months). It’s been tough for me because since my husband and I started talking, we saw each other every day. Sometimes twice a day if he took me to work and took me back home so he was a huge part of my daily life. I didn’t think I would survive this but somehow, I have. We will still be long distance for a few more weeks but the end is on the horizon. If I could do it, you can do. Here’s how:

  • Determine if he/she is worth waiting for. When you are sure they are feeling the same way you do, then things are easier already. When you are away from each other, there will be uncertainties that if they are not properly addressed, they can grow into legit problems.
  • Have something to look forward to. When my husband moved 7,061.2 km away, I had things to look forward to. We had an upcoming trip to Mauritius and we were also legally getting married in 2 months so I had these thoughts to keep me warm at night.
  • Trust each other. This is rather obvious but with the distance and time difference that may exist, you just need to trust each other. He/She loves you and if they haven’t made you doubt this, then don’t just accuse them because you thought you saw a Tinder notification on their phone (cough cough).
  • Communicate regularly. This was important to me because I saw him every evening where he basically recapped his day to me. After he moved, I didn’t want this to stop so we still Facetime each night and tell each other about our days. Even though we still make small talk during the day. This helped me greatly, maybe it’ll work for you too. If not, you can still find a way to communicate that both of you can agree to.
  • Surprise each other. Be very attentive and look for opportunities to surprise each other. This is something my husband is great at. He is very attentive and listens to me and tries to surprise me anyway he can, from organizing for flowers to my place of work and even showing up unexpectedly at my door. These surprises show me that he really cares and makes my day/week/month.

I believe long distance can work if you want it to, even though there are situations where it doesn’t but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a try.

Colouring outside the lines – Embracing my nicheless blog

My sweet nicheless blog

Before I begin, what is a niche? A Niche in blogging refers to creating a blog that is focused on specific content for a specific target audience. It is usually on one topic, weddings, fashion, parenting etc.

When I started this blog in 2015 (OMG), I struggled to find a niche. I strongly believed it was about writing what people wanted to read. I had difficulty trying to pin point what people wanted to read or what tone of voice I should use. Initially, my blog posts were about my relationship misadventures and things like that because I was a single lady and it would be fun to talk about my mishaps so people could find some joy in my misfortune. I wrote and kept my blog secret until one day, I was discovered by my husband while we were dating and I felt so embarrassed that I had talked about terrible love life in such detail. I felt that wasn’t who I was anymore and deleted the blog posts and left a few random ones.

I was stumped. I had no inspiration to write. I didn’t post for about a year and I came back slowly. Most of the blogs/vlogs that I follow are beauty/fashion focused and I knew I didn’t want to do that because my make up skills are shit and my fashion is guided by comfort. I wanted to write about things with the right buzz words to be seen and then I got this great epiphany: Just write! And it was that simple. I feel so much happier now that I’m no longer worried about what niche I should belong to. And now I can write about what I’m most passionate about: ME! I’m just going to write and I hope whoever finds this blog loves it as much as I love it.